ADHD Help

Today I have to go to summer school. I don’t like summer school. No, no, no, no, no, no but mom and dad say that I have to go ’cause my grades were bad. The good things about summer school, it doesn’t last very long and there’s not a lot of kids. I’m trying so I won’t have to go next year. Bye.

Behaviors tend to be cyclical. We deal with the same problems over and
over again.  This means that we don’t necessarily need to have good
skills thinking on our feet.  If we don’t get it right the first time,
we can plan how to handle the problem the next time around.

A general principal is that it is better to act than to react. If a
problem occurs and you are unhappy with your response, sit down with
your spouse or some other trusted adult, discuss what happened, and come
up with a plan regarding how to respond if and when the problem recurs.

Look at management of problem behaviors as problem solving. If a
particular response is not effective, come up with another one.
Eventually you will get the problem under control.

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Sometimes less is more.

This is a counterintuitive statement (goes against intuition) which is often true when dealing with misbehavior in children. Conventional wisdom is that the more you yell at your child for a wrong deed, the better. However, I usually do not find this to be true. What you do when you yell is give your child lots of negative
attention. Sometimes this rewards the behavior instead of punishing it.
The more you yell the more powerful your child might feel.

It is better to deal calmly and efficiently. Tell your child the
consequence and move on.

We define a punishment as anything which follows a behavior and
decreases the probability for recurrence.
A reward is anything which follows a behavior and increases the
probability for recurrence. If you are yelling over and over regarding
the same type of misdeed, you are probably not punishing the problem.

Regarding less is more, shorter consequences tend to work better than
longer ones. When we use long consequences we have a difficult time
following through and can easily end up burying our child in
punishments. Better to use shorter punishments and follow through.
That way children also learn that we mean what we say.