ADHD Help

Seven year olds need to be told the 3 main symptoms of ADHD (being hyperactive, acting fast without thinking first about consequences or alternatives, and getting bored and distracted easily). It is good to tell them, when appropriate, that they probably inherited it from a family member and to let them know from whom.

I also tell them that medication can make it a little easier for them to settle down, think before they act, and stay on task, but they have to try. I try to down play the medication and focus on the importance of them trying. If they are oppositional, they might think that the medication is to control them and then act bad to show you that you can’t control them with medication. I also think it is good to let them know that they are okay and that you love them.

I was recently thinking about the problems that parents have in public places managing children who have ADHD.  The children easily can become overly stimulated and wild.  They have a difficult time sitting still.  They talk too loudly.  The become bored easily.  Many also have Oppositional Defiant Disorder in addition to ADHD.

Before going out in public, it is important to :

1.  Anticipate the problems so that you can develop a  plan of action.  It is always better to act rather than react.

2.  Tell your child the ground rules in advance.  Let your child know what the consequences will be both for compliance and non-compliance.  Having a reward system in place is frequently helpful.  Immediate consequences are very important.

3.  When you arrive in the public place, identify a private place to which you can take your child, if needed, to deal with any problems.  It can be embarrassing to discipline your child in front of lots of other people.   A private place could be your car, the bathroom, or a corner away from everyone.

4.  Plan a structure which will reduce the possibility that the problems will occur.  For example, if you know that your children will fight with each other, keep them physically apart.  At the Seder I recommended separating some siblings, and we even sat some of them with other families.

5.  In a church or synagogue event, you should feel free enlisting the help of other adults.  Don’t feel as if you are alone.  Religious groups should function as extended families.

6.  Don’t let one child’s problems interfere with everybody else’s enjoyment.  If necessary, you can have a sitter on call, and entirely remove the child from the event without significantly interfering with your involvement.

7.  Many problems recur.  If you don’t figure out how to manage the problem  properly the first time around, go “back to the drawing board” and come up with a better plan for any recurrence.

8.  If your child takes medication, remember that medication is not just for school.  It can also make it easier for your child to succeed in public places.

I hope these suggestions are helpful.

A reader from our newsletter asked this question.

The currently held belief is that one-third of children with ADHD become significantly better when they grow up (or after puberty), one-third become somewhat better, and one-third don’t improve much at all.  However, 90% of these children eventually take themselves off of their medication whether they need it or not.

It is important to be aware of the fact that the diagnosis for a child with ADHD was based upon young boys.  Therefore it is possible that, as people age, the predominant symptoms change and they no longer meet the diagnostic criteria even though they still have imparent caused by ADHD.

I encourage you to sign up for our ADHD Newsletter by filling out the form at the very bottom of this page and sending us your questions!